It has been over a week since my last post, in that time I celebrated not only Easter but my birthday. It was a lovely time spent with family, I really love being home sucking up all quality family time to store up until next time. I'm so thankful for my family, in fact the older I get the more I appreciate them.
'birthday brulee'
While over there, Jayne and I helped clear up some of my Granda's farm, I also got a chance to go through his book collection and collected some gold while sorting. I found some photo albums and enjoyed going through looking back at the old days. There were even pictures of my great grandfather and great great grandfather. There was even a book documenting the extended family and my ancestors. It was just such a blessing to have all of that information about my family and the pictures that went with it. It made me respect all my family had done.
'ancestors'
'great great granda'
Anyway, while I was away, I kind of took advantage of the generous, rich, tasteful, delicious food that my great country is proud of. I put my desire to keep the weight off, to the side, and enjoyed the fun and celebrations. We returned to our home full and happy, landing in bed at 3am.
The next day I was exhausted and my stupid busy brain woke me at 7am, I had a list of things to do. I had decided to join my wife to go to our body balance class that night, even though I wasn't feeling up for it. (That's where I learned I was not a good mermaid , but was in fact a walrus). My body didn't appreciate the push, but I did it. The next few days at work I fought my exhaustion, a very well trained fight when one has insomnia on and off over 7 years.
'how I felt this week'
I sat in the park, tired and praying for strength and focus today, hoping some would come when the shuffle on my phone played the song Run Wild by King and Country. In one of the verses it reads:
You’re a lion full of power who forgot how to roar
You’re an eagle full of beauty but you can’t seem to soar
Will you return to the garden where we were first made whole
Will you turn to the one who can liberate your soul
I had heard this song so many times, but this verse stuck in my head. At that time I wasn't thinking of myself as a lion or eagle, but I didn't have a roar in me, I didn't have a feeling of being able to soar. Then I thought to myself, I have not actually spent time in the Word, I had not quietened my thoughts to listen to God. In fact most of the week I had not done that. I had tried and was failing in going about in my own strength.
'roarless lion'
When I was thinking about it, I was reminded what one of my friends said about my analogy of the twisted tree. He reminded me of the importance of the strong foundation and strong root system of the tree. He reminded me of the importance of having my life rooted in God who is a strong foundation. I realised I had not been paying much attention to my foundation. I realised that when I do ground myself in the Word and in God, that's when I have had a good weight loss journey and self control. I have good gym enjoyment and have focus and perseverance.
During the week, some of my buddies from my Slimming World group started a chat on messenger each of us sharing our struggles, each of us struggling with our journey, we laughed about it as a form of support. It did help to know I wasn't alone. I'm thankful for those who sit with me in the 'naughty corner'.
Now I'm sure if you have made it this far, you are thinking that this is common sense, and I've just wasted your time. But this is a blog of my journey, and if it helps anyone I am glad. But it's mostly just to share how I'm getting on.
So what did I learn?
> My own strength is not enough
>God is always giving reminders even through Amazon music.
> I shouldn't put my journey on hold to have fun as I struggle to get back on.
> Family and friends are very important
What next:
1. Get back on track
2. Spend more time mindfully listening to God
3. Plan my food, (Dan Churchill has been very helpful)
4. Be more aware of the important things.
If this helps then great, but mostly if I just babbled then sorry. I know my grammar isn't great and spelling probably not great either. Well there it is. Enjoy and feel free to comment.
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